Ratpucking

Sarah Palin will drop the ceremonial first puck at the Philadelphia Fliers' season opener, and we liberals have been laughing at what a terrible idea this is: Philadelphia sports fans are notoriously crude and boorish. They may well start throwing things at Sister Sarah, shout obscenities, start chanting about how Alaska's First Moose Hunter ought to show us her...well, you get the idea. Ha! How stupid can the McCain campaign be?

Well, as my longtime readers know, whenever I see a liberal laughing at a conservative, I reach for my buzzkill gun.

I know I promised not to flack my book anymore today. But I've got NIXONLAND on the brain. Maybe the McCainiacs—with a Rovian assist?—know what they're doing. Maybe they chose Philadelphia because they WANT lunks throwing things at her and all the rest, to stage a morality play about how big-city lib'ruls are uncivil punks who disprect the virtuous true womanhood of the heartland (this year's GOP's version of "feminism"). Maybe this is Haldeman letting a few dozen hippies into the Nixon rally so he could--well, turn to page 531 in your red and black hymnal. Here's old RN on the campaign trail in 1970 in Green Bay, Wisconsin....

On Monday, October 14, Nixon made a statement against the menace of hijacking and spoke at a White House conference on drug abuse. On Tuesday he signed the Organized Crime Control Act of 1970--mentioning three more New Left bombings, praising the FBI apprehension of Angela Davis, and, tying the American radicals to the Palestinian plane hijacking, announcing his determination to "see to it that those who engage in such terroristic acts are brought to justice." Then he headed out to give an unmemorable speech in Vermont for Senator Winston Prouty. A concrete chip issued from the crowd, landing seventy-five feet from Air Force One. Chuck Coulson said to a reporter, "Those rocks will mean ten thousand votes for Prouty." The President was struck only by inspiration. In Green Bay, Wisconsin, as a small contingent chanted "One, two three four! We don't want your fucking war!" Air Force One taxied into place. A police sergeant gave orders to two of his patrolmen: when the President strode down the steps, White House advance men wanted them to turn the banks of portable floodlights, not on the Leader of the Free World, but on the shrieking hippies. The officers stared, incredulous; the sergeant barked, "That's what they want us to do--now do it."

Nixon recited his script:

"...I will also note, my friends, as we look out at this crowd, that we have a few here that indicate that they have other views with regard to my visit. Let me say that I respect their right to be heard even if they do not respect my right to be heard. And let me also say, ladies and gentleman, I can assure them that they are a very loud minority in this country, but they are a minority, and it's time for the majority to stand up and be counted..."

He wound up Tuesday in Kansas--where he visited a policeman hospitalized by a radical's bomb. He seemed to be enjoying himself enormously. "Vermont, they threw a few rocks. Several other places, they tried to shout me down. In other places, they shouted the usual four-letter words.... If you were to simply read the newspaper and look at the television, the amount of space that those who engage in that kind of protest are concerned, as distinguished from peaceful protest, the amount of space they get gives you the impression that that kind of young American is either a majority of young Americans or will be the leaders of the future.

"Well, I have got news for you. They aren't the majority of young Americans today and they aren't going to be the leaders of America tomorrow."

Later, in San Jose:

"In Life, Hugh Sidey reported that the President's campaign speeches were not the only thing the White House scripted: "Nixon's advance men this fall have carefully arranged with local police to allow enough dissenters into the staging areas so the President will have his theme well illustrated as he warms to his job." Thursday night in San Jose, just over the hills from the Ohta hippie murders, the President spoke for Senator George Murphy in an auditorium. At least a thousand demonstrators unsuccessfully tried to storm the doors. Bob Haldeman, disappointed that there were no hecklers inside, was thrilled at the news. He arranged for an interval between speech and the motorcade so the protesters would have time to mass themselves. Nixon leaped up on the hood of his bulletproof limousine, made the two-handed V salute, jutted out his chin. He told his handlers: "That's what they hate to see!"

He was answered with a hail of rocks, flags, and candles from the candlelight vigil: Caracas in California.
Press secretary Ron Ziegler was later asked why the Leader of the Free World had placed his person in such danger. He responded that Nixon had spotted a "friendly face" in the crowd. Haldeman put it differently in the diary: "Made a huge incident and we worked hard to crank it up, should make a really major story and might be effective." Ziegler released a statement: "The stoning at San Jose is an example of the viciousness of the lawless elements in our society."

It proved the setup for his subsequent speech, from a hangar at Sky Harbor International Airport in Phoenix, taped for election eve broadcast on all three networks:

"Let's recognize them for what they are: not romantic revolutionaries but the same thugs and hoodlums that have always plagued a good people.... For too long we have appeased aggression here at home, and, as with all appeasement, the result has been more aggression and more violence"--appeasement, that word that worked so well in the 1950s.

"Let us understand that this is not a partisan issue....

"The new approach in violence requires men in Congress who will work for and fight for laws that will put the terrorists where they belong--not roaming around civil society, but behind bars." The acolytes of the old approach "are sincere Americans; they have every right to their point of view. But...for a decade their approach dominated America and it has obviously failed."

On TV, the final voiceover: "Support men who will vote for the President, not against him. Bring an end to the wave of violence in America."

As I noted earlier today, right-wing crowds are getting pretty surly heading into the home stretch of this election, perhaps even unto the point of imminent violence. Wouldn't it be convenient if the sage solon McCain, if and when his supporters somewhere get too frisky, he could intone thoughtfully from a platform how much all Americans should regret and rebuke the violence on both sides this year?